Thursday, November 1, 2012

Not a Depression, I Hope! :p

I may say that I'm emotionally disturbed during my last few weeks of pregnancy (minggu lepas and juga sekarang ini okayy..). InsyaAllah I can manage the Braxton Hicks which attacks quite often :p but not when (part of the) environment is like going against me. I know, it's not good for the baby. (Sorry baby. Mak still loves you so very much).

I don't know about other pregnant ladies, but for me, during the last week of pregnancy which I get tired easily, all I want is a peace and comfortable place.  So when my sisters are laughing out loud, I can't stop but to ask them to slow down, until one of them twitted something like this, 'It's amazing that after 26 years living together, u have changed in just half of the year.' I was surprised, frustrated, sad, angry and felt unfair that they do not understand what my priorities are and is this what I suppose to get after husband and I sacrificed our privacy at our own home. :(  Husband asked me to forget it as I should have concentrated more on the little one in me and be happy. Sigh..

During the checkup at hospital just now, gynae was telling me that the baby is not engage yet and I haven't dilate even a cm even though I have only a week to go. And through her experience, most of her patients in this kinda situation will end up with a caesarian delivery.  I was quite sad at first as most of pregnant ladies want to experience the normal way of delivery. But why must I let double sadness in me kan? So let's redha, asalkan me and baby love selamat. InsyaAllah.. :) Please pray for me, dear readers.

Oh by the way, with all the technology wonders we're having currently, why is the dilation checking still using the doc's finger?? Dear scientists around the world, I'll be very very happy if something invented like a camera that give us the result just with a snap? Orrr... at least a glove made from jellies and not latex! Rasa zasss tauu!

Somehow I feel weird some ladies feel beautiful and sexy during pregnancy. Like otherwise, I'm actually feel fat, oily, stink, low self esteem and dark. Hehehe.. Googled, they claim it's normal for preggies to feel that way. Pheww... I'm normal by the way..
See how oily and dark I was!! (Obviously I was the one in polka dots). Pic was taken during the Raya Haji 2012/1433 with the in laws.

Husband said that me staying alone at home alone so long isn't really a good idea because he said I think too much. But thanks anyway because I unpacked all the things in boxes since we moved here in April, sweep and wipe the house, do laundry and I can sleep whenever I wanted to!

Sigh..I hope this is just a temporary hormone changing period I'm facing and not a depression!!


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